


party for one

by thorkidumpster



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Dildos, Fantasizing, M/M, Masturbation, and settles for some tlc instead, beleaguered office worker loki, loki wants the thunder d
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-19
Updated: 2019-08-19
Packaged: 2020-09-07 10:50:34
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20308270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thorkidumpster/pseuds/thorkidumpster
Summary: loki just needs some tlc with a nice dildo and complimentary co-worker fantasy





	party for one

**Author's Note:**

> if this looks familiar, it is! a bunch of my old fics are getting reposted now for your viewing pleasure.

* * *

The store is… nice. Clean. Well-lit.

Loki half expected some seedy establishment with a leaking ceiling (despite the record dry weather) and the smell of mold choking the air. But, he has to grudgingly admit, the sex shop is so well maintained that Loki would feel comfortable buying food here. Assuming, of course, they sold aubergines instead of dildos.

On second thought…

Loki tiptoes around a particularly massive purple dildo.

Maybe they do.

* * *

It’s desperation that has led him here, pure and simple.

The past few months at the office have been rough – reports to file, superiors to ass kiss, underlings being uppity, and the deadlines. How many times has some asshole slinked into his cubicle and said, “Heyyyy, Dickface from Accounting needs these by tomorrow. What? This’ll take three days? Nah, you’ll be fine.”

Way too fucking much for Loki’s blood pressure.

At first he tried jerking off to try to relax some of the constant tension in his lower back. Which worked, for a time, until it didn’t. Loki needed something… more fulfilling, pun intended. He needed a rough fuck with a stranger, but the thought of putting up with some other moron during his off hours – even for that much longed for cock – grated on his nerves.

And forgot having a boyfriend, Loki already learned his lesson there.

But then inspiration struck one lonely night has he worked his way through a bottle of wine.

_Dildos._

He could get his greedy ass stuffed without all the mess. _Genius._

The only real issue came when Loki started browsing online for some models – the reviews were mixed, with some people exclaiming they came the second the toy was in, and others complaining the plastic was too ridged and unlife-like. Loki usually wouldn’t mind returning stuff – hell, he was the king of bitching out people for shitty products – but the company specifically outlined a ‘no returns’ policy.

So.

Loki’s drunken ass immediately hopped on google to search for local sex shops, with only a minor amount of typos.

* * *

“Can I help you?”

Loki doesn’t jump, but it’s a close thing. Like lightning, he replaces the toy he was looking at and angles his back to the display in a shady habit of a misspent youth. “Ah. Well.”

The service girl smiles encouragingly. She’s young and doesn’t look at all like she should be here – but that was probably Loki’s bias shining through, expecting some druggie to be manning the store.

But more importantly, there isn’t an ounce of judgment on her face, even though she must’ve seen him rolling the dildo he nicknamed ‘Aubergine’ around in his hands to test the heft.

Loki clears his throat. “I’m looking for a dildo that… well. That would be good for someone who hasn’t had one before.”

The service girl nods. “We have some more realistic models over here – what sort of feel are you looking for? This one feels just like skin…”

* * *

At one point during that eye opening experience, Loki is ready to break into _A Whole New World._

* * *

He ends up ordering one off the company website after finding the dildo of his dreams. The in-store model had been wonderful – thick and veiny with a pretty pink head and so, so soft. The texture was astoundingly realistic, and if not for the fact that the cock had been room temperature instead of radiating heat, Loki might’ve been able to close his eyes and mistake it for the Real Deal.

But then his hopes were crushed when the sales girl informed him that they were currently out of stock. She gave him an option: either buy online and have it shipped within a week, or wait for nearly a month for the product to come back in stock.

Well, _that_ was an easy decision.

The down side to ordering online is it gives him plenty of time to both anticipate and regret his decision.

* * *

“Laufeyson!”

_I might actually stab you in the fucking eye, I swear to Christ._ “Yes?” Loki spins his chair around to face the entrance to his cramped, grey cubicle. The second he sees the thick stack of paperwork in Odinson’s hand, his fingers twitch on his pen. _You're so beautiful, Thor, but you're about to be so dead--_

“Stark wants these filed and dropped off at his desk by noon.”

Distantly, Loki wonders where he would be without his self control. Probably moonlighting as a serial stabber.

It says a lot about his mental state that he doesn’t consider that unappealing or worrying in the least.

“Stark’s never here at noon,” Loki says, grinning with all his teeth to avoid leaping up and tearing Odinson’s throat out with them.

Odinson laughs and smiles back like Loki just told a great joke and _isn't _pondering where he might hide body that size. “Just run it by Rushman or Potts. Sorry, Laufeyson,” he shrugs, “you know how it is.”

Loki’s lips stretch wider.

Thirty minutes into the paperwork that’s going to take hours to complete, Loki’s phone beeps with an email notification that his package will be arriving that afternoon.

Suddenly, the monotonous task of stamping and filing and signing seems to go a fuckload faster.

* * *

There’s a package on his doorstep when he pulls in. It’s small, discreet, and holding Loki’s salvation. He all but scrambles out of his second-hand sedan and rushes up the steps to his apartment, face burning. They just… left it there? What if someone had opened it? What if little old Ms Carter from down the hall had decided to hold it for him?

Lord, he doesn’t want to be responsible for giving a 95 year old woman a heart attack.

Loki scoops it up – fumbling the box only just a bit – and goes to unlock his door.

“Oh, _Loki!”_

If there is a god, he’s busting ass laughing at Loki right now.

Loki inhales and puts on his best, if somewhat strained, smile. “Yes, Ms Carter?”

“Tut. I see you got your package!” Is it just him, or is there something knowing in her expression? He cuts a quick glance to the box, but nothing about it screams, _I’m a dildo!!_

“Yes, ma'am.”

Peggy Carter, bless her, might be sharp as a tack, but she’s still an old woman and loves to do what all old women love to do. “Isn’t the internet just astounding? Click, click! And a package from England comes! Why, my grandchild – Beatrice, have you met her? – she’s such a dear, she sends wonderful little gift boxes every month. She’s in France now, you understand, studying to be a French translator for the U.N. – even dating a nice French boy! Tut. I knew a Frenchmen in my day, he was back in the Howling Commandos…”

Fortunately, Peggy doesn’t seem to notice that Loki has mentally checked out.

He’s saved by Fenris scratching at the door and meowing, able to sense his owner on the other side and snuffing his disapproval that Loki hasn’t come in yet.

“Oh!” Peggy laughs. “Poor baby, here I am keeping you… go take care of the rascal, and come over for some cake this weekend.”

“I might be busy,” Loki says, apologetically, before he can think the words through. Yeah, ‘busy.’ Busy fucking a dildo until he physically can’t take it anymore. He… might not mention that part.

“Ho-ho! Got a date?” Peggy’s eyes glitter. “Well. You can tell me all about it later, then. I won’t keep you.”

Loki mumbles a hasty thanks and lets himself into his apartment. His knees are immediately set upon by Fenris, who insists rubs his silky fur against Loki’s pant leg, leaving a swath of fur behind. Loki gives the cat a distracted petting before retrieving a pair of scissor from the utility drawer and tearing into the box.

He holds his breath as he peels back the cardboard flap.

It's _beautiful._

It’s also wrapped in about fifty layers of plastic and bubble-wrap, but still. The shapeless lump is _beautiful._

Loki’s out of the living room and into the bedroom before Fenris can finish his disapproving meow.

* * *

Getting himself ready is like a race: slow and steady.

Yeah, right – Loki sprints through his preparations, working open his hole with jabbing, wet fingers, using lube that hasn’t seen the outside of his drawer in an embarrassingly long time. His cock sprung up pretty much before his pants were even fully off and now waves around for attention.

“You wait your turn,” he scolds.

Loki lubes up the dildo and angles his body, reaching around to position himself properly. He takes a deep, fortifying breath as the flared head of the dildo nudges at his slick, open rim. It’s smaller than he’s taken before, perfect for beginners, but a thread of anxiety zings up his spine in cool contrast to the molten anticipation in his belly. The flesh of the dildo feels so real, spongy but firm, and Loki closes his eyes, imagining a hard body laboring above him – waiting for his a-okay, panting, sweating, near begging to please, _please_ be allowed in.

With a smirk, Loki settles deeper into his mountain of pillows. He licks his lips, cock dripping at the fantasy of power and control. A hot tear of pre-come slides down his hip. He exhales slow and steady and breaches himself with the toy. It’s electric, the sensation of being so full, of clenching around a cock and not fingers, and Loki moans, low and eager for more.

He pumps the cock steadily, muscles gripping something he hasn’t felt in months. Months! Oh, but the sweet curve of it rubs at his prostate, the fleshy material gentle on his insides. Loki bottoms out until the tender balls nestle against the meat of his ass. He squirms, whimpering, chest heaving.

_Do you like that?_ The man whispers. He has Thor's gruff voice, the dark, anonymous figure becoming all too familiar. _Is it good?_

Loki whines, fucking himself faster and faster, but a cramp builds in his arm, and he can’t properly coordinate stroking his own cock with the dildo.

“Fuck!” he swears. His fingers dig into the fake set of balls, right above the – oh. Loki blinks. He twists around to look at the solid shape of his headboard, an idea forming. Gently, he works out the dildo and measures a rough approximation of how tall a man would be kneeling right behind him. With a muttered prayer, Loki presses the suction cup at the base of the dildo to the headboard, hoping for a stick.

He pulls his hands back and flicks the dildo a few times to test the adhesion. Licking his lips and feeling immensely pleased with himself, Loki rolls onto all fours and inches backwards until he feels the dildo pushing into him again. It’s a delicate few moments as he sinks onto it – there’s no real support and the damn thing is fond of popping out every which way, but with a firm grip, Loki’s able to fuck himself on it, back and back and back, until he’s full up again.

His cock jerks, dribbling out a clear line of pre-come onto his pillows. Loki fists himself, relieving the pressure building up in his aching balls.

_Fuck yourself. Such a sweet little slut, thinking you’re in charge. You just need a big dick to fuck. Go on, baby, get to work._

“Ah,” Loki cries, “Ah, ah, ah!”

Face pressed to his sheets, Loki jerks his body relentlessly, mouth falling open and ass tightening on the dick as he forces himself. It feels good, so good, the veins dragging on his tender insides, catching his rim and making him squirm like a bitch in heat. And he is, oh, he is, wanting a fuck so bad, needing a dick up him constantly – always –

_Needy slut. You can do better, come on._

This would be where a ringing spank would come in and Loki slaps his thigh, harsh, the sound and sting not as sweet as when delivered by someone else, but _fuck_ does he need it – again, Loki slaps his other thigh – again! His off hand is clumsy as it jerks his cock during this, and it’s almost like it’s not him, but someone else –

_Come. Now!_

And Loki obeys, spurting all over his fist and bed, asshole twitching wildly on the dildo. “Oh! Oh, fuck yesss…” he pants, trembling, rubbing his cheek on the soft bed sheets.

For the first time in ages, his body is loose, open, and he’s sated. Loki moans with relish as he lazily grinds against the dildo, riding out the last of his orgasm. When the slide of it grows harsh on his sensitive hole, Loki eases off, inching forward until the dildo pops free with an obscene sound and bobs happily in the air.

Suddenly, what he’s done hits Loki like a train. Shame swirls in sick patterns through him. Loki covers his eyes with his clean hand. “Next weekend I’m going to a bar,” he groans. “I’m going to pick up a guy with a Guinness Book of World Records dick and no brains. I’m going to fuck him until he begs for mercy like a little bitch…”

His cock stirs weakly at the thought and Loki eyes the cheerful dick stuck to his headboard. He chews his lip.

“You’ll do for now,” he scolds at it, already reaching for more lube. “But don’t get comfortable here.”

* * *

Though maybe, he thinks a few hours later, well and truly fucked out, buying a larger size could be a smart investment…

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> i do a tumbl under this name as well


End file.
